I have died a thousand deaths

 How do you weigh pain? The pain that a mother has go through for losing his second born son. I feel like I have died a thousand deaths. It may not be a heavy nor timely memory but the fact that he was inside you, moving and breathing and then all of sudden death steals him from you, it is just too much to take.

I wanted so much to disappear to have never felt this way. But the fact is,I need to be strong for I still have my family, my first born and my husband. For this time being, I am taking my strength from them. I am in a way trying to suppress, I am pretending as if it did not happen, I mourn in a very weird way, it is indescribable.

If only pretending is the answer, but how can you pretend that your skin has not been cut? That there is no wound that can trace and prove that an angel was there living inside you for almost 6 months?

I will mourn for as long as I can fully realize that things happened for a reason. I will mourn for as long as my wound is still fresh.

I would like to take this opportunity though, to thank my family and friends who has been there for us, who somehow alleviates the pain that we are feeling. Thank you for your kind words and gestures.

To my second born, Mama, Papa and kuya will love you forever.....................

Dragon City

     Dragon City, you are killing me!...

    You occupy most of my time, my mind and my emotions..Why?!  I am super obsessed with this FB Game, I am not actually after leveling up per se or competing with other players, I just want a unique EGG! arrrggghh.. It is sooooo frustrating, while waiting for so many hours when its time to hatch, the egg you got is similar to the one you already have = (. I don't want to spend gems to buy unique eggs either hahahha...

   Oh well, I'll just keep on playing until I get bored over the game.hihi...Diminishing marginal utility I hope..oh but not so close yet...ta..ta...

Astigmatism

        I am not really a fan of glasses. Ever since I was young I never ever wanted to wear one. I have this notion that once you are wearing glasses you are already old and it does not look good. But now a days it seems wearing glasses is a fashion statement. Heck, some teenagers even wear them, although they have 20/20 vision.    In my case though, I have a need to wear one because of astigmatism. I feel lucky because now I have plenty of eyeglasses to choose from, ones that do not make you look old haha. I took pictures wearing one,  eeewwww...hahahaha....

I am scared.....

     Scared of what is going on with our world at present. News regarding crimes increasing, internal and external war, and the weird weather acting like a brat! A friend once told me that it would be the end of the world this December 21, 2012. Super creepy right? How should we react? Should we take this seriously or just shrug our shoulder?

   If you are  going to ask me, I want to believe that miracles are real, I believe that miracles are real. Atleast I will have something to keep me going just in case, we will never know for sure.

 I just hope that the world we live in will last longer, when I say longer I mean gazillion years more. Not for my own sake but for the future generation. I want them to experience a beautiful and colorful world. Not the kind that we see in the movies, the dull ones.


     I'm in a dilemma, I know I should not worry, because everything seemed so normal, but I just can't help but notice that some things are changing and sadly not for the better. =(


   Aaarggghhh, I hope I'm wrong for our sake and the future's.

I am 32

      Wow, I just find it so weird that I am in my 30s, it feels like I'm still in my 20s haha wishful thinking (",)...Anyway, as always I am thankful for another year with family and friends, another year to experience how beautiful life is.

        There are just so many reasons to be thankful for. Like plenty of clothes to wear(",), bags, shoes and lots and lots of accessories ooohhh lah lah(",).Plenty of chikahan with friends who make life even more colorful and fun. Places to go and places to be. More blogs to write,  more heartaches, more laughing trips, more movies to watch, more delicious food to eat and a whole lot more of mores.

        Everyday is a special day, it's true you just have to be  a little bit open-minded and selfless to appreciate life. In order to appreciate life you have to pause for a moment and breathe. By then you would understand how amazing it is that you are still alive and breathing. We are too busy with a lot of stuff that we tend to forget what living really means.

     I may not have all the things that I desire (material things haler!) (",), but I feel perfect!(",). To those who disagree with me, aaaahhhhmmmm go make your own blog.(",)hihi..see you next time...

Stop Raining On Me

   I am not actually here to talk about the rain, although I am not in favor of what's happening with the weather, getting weirder and weirder. Anyway, I am  just happy that my friend Bajoy dropped by today. Whenever we are together we share ideas which always keep us excited and happy. We talk about a lot of stuff, including clothes of course. Even if we have different preferences regarding clothes, still fashion somehow keeps us together. This is of course one of the main reason why we became friends for more than Five Years now. I can't exactly remember the year but I bet she can (",).    And of course, just like in any normal friendship ours have it's own share of ups and downs but mostly ups hihi. We just learn to patch things up, that's all. I pray with all my heart that this friendship of ours will last forever.

Private Places

               I super love this book (Private Places) and the best part is I bought it on sale for only P83.00 from a P415.00 value. Hihihi, amazing right?. This book talks about how you can have a private space in your very own  house, only a minimal space is required. The book teaches you how to arrange furniture, how to place them according to your style and comfort.

               The pictures are great too, by just looking at them it gives me tons of ideas how to make a little space for my own crafts, and that I can call it my little private place.

               I believe Judith Wilson the author, knows me somehow, and understands my needs. I, being a person with so many things and with little space she somehow came up with great ideas how to keep them stored in  a way that they still look great.  Like for instance in her book the spaces for the bookshelves are thin but not to the extent that it can no longer hold thick and large books. She is a bit minimalist I guess, in a very good way.

               The designs of the bedrooms in this book are also beautiful. The book caters different personalities too, like for instance if you are into Victorian design, country or even eclectic there are explanations and photos in the book which explains how it is done.

              Anyway, I guess I have to stop here for now, I've gotta read some more hihihhihi(",)...take care....